Today I've been thinking about patience. Truthfully, I have been thinking about it a lot for years. To be a good teacher (especially a middle school teacher), you have to have more patience than the average person. You have to have the ability to get extremely calm and under control in the most heated of moments.
This is not a skill (yes, I consider it a learned skill) that comes easy. It's one you have to work on constantly. If patience were something we were all naturally gifted with, I don't think there would be so many passages in the Bible that tell us to "wait on God".
In my years working with kids, I have noticed that a majority of them struggle with waiting. And the hardest part about waiting is when you've been promised something you really want. All you can think about is getting it. This Ted Talk is only five minutes long and it really speaks volumes about human nature. It's not about where you come from on planet Earth. All humans struggle to wait. Check out the talk "Don't Eat the Marshmallow" here.
Personally, I feel like God has made me a promise. In fact, on April 8, 2014, I felt like He clearly spoke something very specific to me. Instead of receiving this promise, I am still sitting here on October 22, 2017 having received the opposite of this promise. Instead of the beautiful gift, I have lived in constant agony. My zeal and passion for life have been destroyed. Everything I love was touched and negatively affected. It has left me heartbroken. And like the Scripture says, "a broken heart dries the bones".
I don't know what the hold up is, but the pain and adversity have taught me a lot about patience. Patience as defined by the dictionary means "the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like; an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay; quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence".
According to the above, I have not remained totally patient in these long, heavy years. As a middle school teacher, I have known all along that patience is a learned skill, not a natural quality. The hard lesson has been to see that it is a learned skill in all aspects of our life. It's hard to say this, but ultimately, I am grateful for God's promises not being quickly and easily handed to me. I am glad He sees fit to strengthen me through fiery trials. I'm thankful for the harsh pain because when His promise is fulfilled, it will mean so much more to me.
I have learned much about delayed gratification. When I receive that marshmallow, it will be all the sweeter because I had to wait. I don't know how much longer I will have to wait, but I wait and I choose to believe. And through the pain, I will continue to obey and practice self control. That means taking a breath when I am punched and forcing myself to calm down. That means enduring sometimes excruciating pain without letting the pain move me. It means working hard no matter how many beatings I am forced to take. Staying quiet and at peace deep inside while I wait.
Some day, I will see the promise fulfilled. I have no idea how it will happen. But I know it will happen because my Father in Heaven owns the cattle on a thousand hills and with Him, all things are possible. Teach me Lord to wait.
